A Certain Elf and Dwarf's Journey to Menards
by Perronegro
Summary: Legolas, a garagetool wiz and Gimli, who doesn’t know the difference between a nail and a screw, team up to find everything on King Aragorn’s shopping list for the month. Legolas experiences agony beyond belief and Gimli finally gets a candy bar.


**A Certain Elf and Dwarf's Journey **

**to Menards**

**Disclaimer**: We don't own Legolas or Gimli(darn), and we don't own Menards either (that's not quite as disheartening…). But we probably do own some things _from_ Menards… which doesn't count!

**AN**: This story was co-written by Torilei and I. This is our second Lord of the Rings story we wrote together. Hope you like it!!!!

**Summary**: Legolas, a garage-tool wiz and Gimli, who doesn't know the difference between a nail and a screw, team up to find everything on King Aragorn's shopping list for the month. Legolas experiences agony beyond belief and Gimli finally gets a candy bar.

"Legolas, I want a candy bar!" Gimli shouted as he followed the blonde archer down another row at the gigantic store. The two of them were on a mission at Menards to get the tools that Aragorn had requested for Gondor. He had chosen only Legolas to do this since he was a wiz at tools, but the Elf had brought Gimli along for company. Nobody liked to shop alone.

Legolas sighed as he picked up one of the items on the list to examine. "Gimli, you must be patient." he said. "I told you that you could pick one up later, didn't I? What's next on the list, Gimli?"

The Dwarf looked down at the list, squinting at the neat printing that was so much different than his own. "A p-p-p… Oh, wait. Its says philipps. Philipps screwdriver. What the heck is that anyway?"

"It's a pretty basic screwdriver." Legolas explained, looking around at the signs saying what was in the aisles. "I think they're over this way…"

Gimli walked behind his friend, bored out of his mind. Shopping for tools was _so_ boring, even for a king. 'I wonder how they make green jell-o green.' he thought, looking everywhere around him. 'Does it come like that, or do they use a certain kind of plant to dye it…' Suddenly, he gasped. "Legolas!" he shouted, his eyes wide.

Legolas turned around to look back at his friend, his confusion evident. "What is it, Gimli?" he wondered.

"Look." Gimli whispered excitedly, reaching forward and grabbing a lunch box. He held it out in front of him, and Legolas had to sigh.

The lunch box had a picture of the two of them on it, Legolas with his bow and Gimli with his axe. They were standing together, ready to fight an unseen enemy. "Gimli, put it away." Legolas muttered, turning around to start looking for the screwdriver again.

"But it's so cool!" Gimli shouted, looking down at it as if it was some sort of priceless treasure. "I think we should get this for Aragorn for his birthday. That way, he won't forget who he made go through this torture. Plus, we look cool, or at least _I_ do, and Aragorn's nowhere on this thing! What do you think, Legolas? It's coming up you know!"

Hearing no response from his friend, he looked up and looked everywhere around him. With dread, he saw that Legolas was nowhere in sight.

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Legolas was relieved to get some peace and quiet at last. Finally, Gimli had stopped admiring the lunch box and wasn't begging for a candy bar. But he was a little confused that he didn't hear his heavy footsteps behind him...

Deciding not to worry about it, the Elf grabbed the screwdriver that he needed and put it into the cart in front of him. "Okay, Gimli. What's next?" he asked.

Not getting an answer, Legolas looked over his shoulder, and was anxious to see that Gimli wasn't there.

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Gimli nervously looked around him as he ran down the aisles, seeing no sign of his friend. "Legolas!" he shouted. "Legolas!" But he still didn't see any pointed-ear, Elvish princelings. Getting anxious, the Dwarf slowed his pace to a walk. "Okay. Remain calm." he muttered to himself. "You can do this. You've battled orcs. You faced impossible odds. You had to find a bunch of cursed ghosts. You were a distraction at the Black Gate. You killed more orcs than the Elf, even though he won't admit it. You can _surely_ find your best friend in a store… right?"

His pace grew faster and faster. Beads of sweat began to appear on his face. All of a sudden, he began to sing.

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream!" he whispered in a high-pitched voice to himself. "Merrily, merrily, merrily. Life is but a dream." He repeated it, his voice getting louder as he grew more confident. He _could_ find Legolas! He _would_ find the annoying Elf! In fact, he could even imagine hearing his voice now…

"Gimli, what in Middle Earth are you doing?!" Legolas asked in an exasperated way. "We're out in public! Since when can you sing that high?!?!?!"

Gimli laughed to himself. Yes, that's what the Elf would say…

"Gimli, I'm speaking to you!" his imagination kept telling him that Legolas was saying. "Can you quit singing and listen to me for one moment?!"

Gimli abruptly stopped, confused. He looked up and saw Legolas looking down on him with a confused yet annoyed look on his face. "Oh, I did not see you, Legolas." the Dwarf said, laughing. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you!" Legolas replied, still seeming annoyed. "You weren't behind me when I found that screwdriver. Oh. And while you were gone, I got the rest of the tools. So you don't have to worry about that anymore."

Gimli took the Elf's copy of Aragorn's list and looked it over, studying it. Then, he laughed again. "Well, Master Elf, there seems to be something that you've forgotten!" he said.

"What?" Legolas asked, seeming slightly hurt. He knew that he had made sure to get everything that was on Aragorn's list.

The Dwarf looked up at his friend, smiling broadly. "The thing you forgot," he said dramatically, "is my candy bar!"

**The End**

**AN**: We hope you enjoyed it! Please R&R! Reviews are very much appreciated!!!!


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